There should be no independence behind me!

I have reached the stage of self overloading loathing.

My body has slowly turned into a blob the last year. It kind of happened almost without me knowing. Its a lie, I knew things were going down hill for awhile, but have been too lazy to do anything about it. I refused to admit that the weight has been going up, maybe because I cant quite see where its gathering strength – I dont eat crap and I dont eat too much. So I excused the numbers on the scale as a fluke. The thing needs batteries after all.

But there comes a time when one cannot continue to hide behind made up blindness. Its not just one sign that woke me up. Its the thighs that rub together when walking, its the belly that pokes it head above the pants that used to fit nicely, its the legs that dont cross easily anymore with the top one kind of awkwardly hangs for dear life…its the jiggle, people…the jiggle when I walk. Its gentle and hidden like, very disturbing, very. But most of all, the thing that snapped me out of my dazed state was when I realized that my butt has a life of its own. Its not part of me anymore, other than the fact that it hangs from my body. Its an entity of its own. Its independent!


I am about as heavy as I have ever been and there is no denying it. Its time for action, because as I get older this body of mine takes longer to snap out of the wobbly slump.

I have two plans. One simple, the other – not. I am still not sure which road to take.

I will let you know when I decide.

*jiggle, jiggle – she walks away*