With love for a friend
A dear friend of mine is having a baby in the coming weeks. It always melts me a little bit when it happens, although I am rarely around to truly experience with them the pregnancy and those first weeks and months that can be so hard for a new mom. And I so wish I could. They probably dont needs me, there is family around. It doesnt stop me from dreaming about being a support person, as I feel I have something to contribute. Most of it not what one would probably think of. I feel I can provide true understanding for the situation without all the glossy, made up, dreamy stupid frilly details. Blah! Sorry about that.
Maybe I am a bit nuts, or maybe I have a skewed view of the reality, I guess its quite possible. I am far from thinking what I see and experience is The Truth. But, a new mom needs working hands around her, not balloons and flowers that she has to wonder where to put and then after a few days they start to wilt and make a mess everywhere, even stink up the place. Then its a huge chore to clean them up, cause the leaves fall and break when you even approach them… and wash the slimy vases…Working hands. Someone to tidy up, wash the clothes, make food, wash the dishes afterwords and all of it without her having to ask OR wait. A person to make a warm drink, while she is cuddling the new person in her life on the sofa and then to have a quiet chat with. A person who doesnt expect her to be cheery and glowing or in the least bit entertaining. Because those first moments of motherhood are not easy, especially in our society where women are isolated from other women and all the realÂ support that they could actually get. Most are alone, hidden behind the white sheet that is showing the projected image of the cheery, loving new mom – perfectly groomed, energetic, smooth skinned with “her body back”. Vomit. Sorry about that.
So I dream to be to one of my friends, what I have always wanted for myself. And yet I wonder even if we didnt move and I was there with them, will I have been able to do it? Will my offer have been taken as an invasion of some sort? Will I have even offered? Cause we are all so independent now, love is only allowed from those we share blood and rings with. Or so it seems.
For now I settle down to sending modest gifts for showers far away and hope that the love I have put in them will come through even a little bit. Cause I could not bring myself to giving bottles, pacifiers, frilly pants or spa accessories for mom. Sorry about that.
This has to be my favorite doll I have made so far. I was even tempted to keep it. Filled with wool and chickpeas, which gave it a lovely heaviness around the lower part of the body.
The birds…the birds…
The plan was different, very different. The idea is from this tutorial. The first issue was that I could not make the whole mobile as I had to send it by post, so I thought of making a one branch mobile. Weeeeel, not so quick, missy. Its not easy at all to make those birds stay upright with the branch, as they just want to flop down and look dead. After numerous attempts at making it work and deep into the night, I gave up and made a simple hanging decoration. Boo-Hoo.
I also sent her a child/baby journal if she wants to write down the developments and her thoughts of the year that is coming up.
And that is all. Packed in a box, flown over and delivered by another dear dearÂ friend at a shower far away. And I want to give so much more.
Maybe one day.
Nice! I love your pics….they are so interesting!
I love the birds! You did a great job.
And you are completely right about “helping out” after you have a baby, you are a good friend, wanting to really take care of your friend.
Its right isnt it…mom needs real help with all the things she wants to do least while recovering and getting to know her squishy little new baby. I guess it will apply to dad too – parents in general.
I’ve been folloing your blog for a week and am impressed to see the things you do with your family and kids, your gratitude to life is in a way so close to my feeling about it all. So in connection with your post today, I would like to talk to you…
My son is 14 months old and I am trying to escape of all that commonly accepted rules about rising up children (the traditional understanding of right and wrong – starting from pregnancy, giving birth, breastfeeding and so on)…What I do is I follow my feeling about it according to my son’s needs (well, that is often not understood by other mothers just vecause they are taught so), so I would like to exchange some experience, if that’s ok for you…
Great present! :)
Welcome and I am glad you are finding something in my experiences and thoughts for yourself.
And I am always open to exchange of ideas. Are you finding it hard to deal with the disapproval of others in regards to your choices?