Thoughts on a bike
To change the subject a bit, because I am even boring myself thinking about this trip business, I will share with you whats going on in my mind while riding my bike lately.
I had not gone on the bike for awhile, really, they had been mainly gathering small particles called dust in the garage and just wasting away into its darkness. Since I had been neglecting my fitness lately, I decided its time to actually do something about it, especially having in mind that I would be carrying around a big backpack and a big 2 year old in the near future. Its not something you just pick up and do.
One option was to get a quick membership at the gym and do the classes I used to do when pregnant. This option was not very appealing for various reasons, one of which was the fact that it cost money, money which can be better spent on something else, like a day away on a trip, or a really fancy meal.
Then I decided to use that bike of mine for good. It may not sound like serious stuff, but we live in a rather hilly area and even short rides will leave you gasping for air in no time. And I started.
A week into the daily bike rides I could feel my body catching up. I could climb the hills on higher gear, I could make it further, the pain would be less…I could make it up the big horror everest-of-a-climb to the house without dying, coming to, and dying again, only to be awaken by the aching legs that barely could hold me and the irresistible urge to open my chest to get enough air in.
And the other day, pushing those pedals and feeling the breeze in my hair, I filled up with love for this body of mine. I have mostly loved it, appreciated it and treated it with respect, but this was different. This was a joyful, pure love. I felt the muscles stronger, responding to my request for them to be so; my heart beating dutifully supplying all the bits and pieces with what they needed, but calmer this day, unlike the frantic unsuspecting bashing that had been days before. I felt we are a team, it and I, a perfectly working team.
I may not be a pristine beauty, my body will not grace the covers of a scantly clad magazine, but its one hell of a great body when it comes down to the important things. I have done well in just about any sport I have tried, I have rarely been sick, I have no chronic conditions, I heal fast, I have gotten pregnant without a problem, carried babies effortlessly and birthed them better than any well oiled digitized machine. My body made milk that could have fed three babies at the same time, all coming from those tiny breasts of mine that had been a worry for me most of my youthful life. Silly life.
Yeah, I have stretch marks, my now not that tiny breasts are sagged, you can fill puddles in my cellulite, if you are so inclined (which will make you weird, by the way), I have a wonky tooth.. and I dont really care to continue this crappy list, but this body, pedaling strongly down the path – cough, lets get back to the real world – works. Its responsive and trustworthy and I love it.
And I spent the rest of my ride, letting it know that with the smile on my face. That is until we reached the hell-of-a-hill up to the house, when I could think of nothing else but to focus not to die. We still have some way to go, my body and I, on this bike riding adventure, but I just want to remember that feeling, because it was…beautiful with wings.
Beautiful with wings.