If there is one thing negative about moving about and changing one’s location, it will be the loss of friends. It takes time to built closeness with most people and, in my experience, probably about 2-3 years in a place to find a group of people you truly enjoy being with. I am not talking about hooking up with others for coffee or walk in the park with the little ones. I am talking about friendships, and unfortunately it seems we are more and more often considering acquaintances for such. A side effect of our isolated and increasingly egoistical existence?
Being close to people, showing weakness, admitting you need them and you are not just a happy lonely ship in the ocean has become less acceptable just in my lifetime. Yet, I believe these connections, the feeling of belonging are integral to a happy and content life. Being alone is not fun; not having a person to call and cry to when we feel the need may save our face, but it wont heal our hearts; true friendships are more valuable than any gold for our well-being. Call me a romantic, but I do believe that.
There are people that come into our life that will stay there forever. I have been lucky enough to have a few of those, although I am sure not as lucky as some of you – the price I have paid, remember?
Back when I started University here five of us ended up in a organically created group. I say organically, because there was nothing obvious about us being suitable for each other – some older, some fresh from school; with variety of European, Scandinavian and Asian decent; quiet and not so… an unlikely match, but it worked. In the four years we studied, we never fought and, yes, we did projects together! There was not an ounce of drama between us, we just clicked – it was a running joke about how we can spend hours talking over coffees, and we did that regularly in the Uni cafe. We sit, chatter…..and its 3 hours later, just like that. The memories…
When we graduated we spilled around Australia and the globe – a bit like what happened after I started University in Bulgaria, where I found another of my forever friends. At that time I left and paid my price.
(Its late and I am tired, sorry if my thoughts are a bit more confusing than usual.)
Our group at a birthday of mine. See, I cooked even back then ;) Mmmm, pizza…
Those girls made my time studying a pleasure and I remember fondly every little lunch we shared – oh the spaghetti bolognese at the cafe with a sprinkle of coriander, or my low-carb breakfast with eggs, mushrooms and tomatoes – the curry dinner we had at my place when Mr.Blab was in India and Miss Fab being excited about her one jelly bean for desert…pause to grin to myself…
The conference! Who can forget our Sydney conference trip and where Nina and I slept in what seemed like a cupboard room with no windows, but dont get me wrong, this is not a negative, we had a good laugh about it at the time and I am almost laughing at the moment thinking about that time.
We seem so relaxed and…boring, but you will only think that if you werent there, or if I didnt add in one of the photos that happened before that. Cause, you see, I was using a timer to set up the picture, but something was not working and I would just barely make it to the couch. So before we could get one boring relaxed picture, there were a lot of these:
I am trying, but I dont think its possible to do this justice, more so than I am now half asleep.
My Nina is here.
Sorry, darling, but I am putting this picture up for the world to see.
This is from a little trip we did before I got pregnant with Little B. We escaped to a little caravan park on the coast and had the greatest time. I will never forget how we arrived at a blueberry pick-your-own farm and it started raining and there we were, wet to the bones, stuffing our faces with blueberries and laughing our butts off because we would wonder if the owners will notice our now heavily blue mouths and tongues. I can vividly remember the heavy with rain leaves and how the water would drip down my arm as I reach in to fill my hand with the juicy fruits and laughing so hard I could pee. Or the most beautiful tomato soup Nina whipped up on the small wonky stove by the home grown tomatoes she had brought in from her mom’s garden. Or how we chased bugs around and…hahahaha…then we put them in the fridge to stunt them so we can take pictures of them. We did. I think I may, or may have not, suggested it when the little fellas kept on trying to escape. Or the late nights spent sitting on the old sofa sipping wine in funny fat glasses and blabbing. Or taking self portraits when tipsy ;) Yeah, I know my nose is red, but its from the beach, the sun you know. I am sure i looked better on one of the shots, but out of respect for my friend I share one where she looks almost serene, not drunk with a red nose. You are welcome, Nina ;)
My Nina is here. She arrived today to visit us for 6 days and I am blissfully happy. We have not seen each other for more than 2 years and she still looks serene and I still look awkward, but its just the way it goes. Tomorrow we will buy the wine, because Mr.Blab is not a good wine buddy and we have none of this stuff here, and we will spend some time blabbing again.
There is a positive effect for you too. Since I will show her around Perth some, you may get to see some of it too.
Until then, dont be strangers, say hi.
I am off, my Nina is here and I have to be fresh for adventure.