Not much longer now, until this little man turns 2, and I struggle to realise, yet again, where the time is flying and what is all the hurry about. It is a big fat cliche with a cherry on top, but come on, the more life seems to be worth living, the faster it goes. When school was occupying my days and I couldnt wait to hear the last bell to run out; or the mirage of adult freedom was the only thing making life bearable; time stood still. The clock on the wall would tick….tick…yawn…tock, and days seemed to never end.
Now he is going to be 2.
And I just heard his first whimpers after he was born. I can still smell the sweetness of that wet head of his, resting on my chest, and the softness of his mini balls, as I slid my hand down his body to check that he is indeed, a boy. That last point is under review, because even though he does have the proper appendages, this ruled by females house has had a measurable effect on him.
Now he is a little person running around the house and working. He loves working. You have not laughed enough until you see a nakid toddler emptying the recycling box in the bin and then carrying that same, as big as him, box up the stairs, through the house and pushing it into the lower level in the side pantry and closing the door, matter of factly.
More! – he will exclaim.
Laundry, tossing the wet clothes into the drier, is a favorite too. Even though he rarely makes the target, he makes it up with enthusiasm and concentration.
Filling the water bottles and carrying them back to the fridge may be boring to some, but not to him. Its a serious business and he frequently reminds Mr.Blab of the job with fingers pointed to the empty bottles.
I dont think I can love him more.
I dont think we can love him more.
Miss Fab recently said: He is the best thing that has happened to me! And you know what, that is sweeter than sweet, because no matter how you feel about your kids, when they love each other like that, we are talking instant cavity inducing sweet…in a good way. The girls laugh all day, be it scraping poop off his diapers (yes, they made a deal with the devil again) or riding bikes outside. We often giggle ourselves just listening to them secretly and giving each other looks that mean no-idea-what-they-are-on-about-but-isnt-it-good!
By they way, I had to trap the boy to get some pictures of his face. See, he gives no value to my camera and pays me no attention when I am holding it. Forget about big eyes staring down the barrel of the lens, I am happy to get a nose in there somewhere. Then I had this genius idea of putting him to sit on my computer chair, and it worked. At least for a bit. Not that he found it very interesting, but I cant win them all.
Mr.Blab: Daddy going to put you to sleep?
Mr.Blab: Who is going to put you to sleep?
That is the first conversation he has held, when we exclude all the huming and haming and gesticulating. It happened yesterday. The words are coming now faster and faster and just as fast is my little boy changing. I will miss this, oh, how I will miss it. The worst part is that I know I will forget, not everything, but the tactile details, the softness of his little bum in my hands, the goofy smile and wet lips on my nose, the warmth of his belly on my face as I rub it on to make him laugh, the smell of his mouth… I will know this all happened, but I will not be able to feel it. I know, because I look longingly at old videos of the girls and with all the memories that flood back, there is a touch of sadness within me for the essence of our lives together that I have forgotten.
This is life though, we can not hoard and store it, we can only live it – now.
And right now, I am just soaking up the juicy goodness around me, a bunch of it coming from this little big boy.