Today I was reminded of how screwed our views of our own lives can be. But really, how good at seeing are we?
As you were aware, if you are a fan, follow, like me on Facebook, I had some guests over today. A lovely family we have been seeing around the city for awhile every week. The mom and I click, maybe because she is also from the ex-communist eastern Europe, maybe because we simply have very similar views on a lot of subjects, or maybe because the stars just lined up the right way when we met. It doesnt really matter.
It was her and the kids’ first time over at our place and the little ones were straight out in the garden, climbing trees and we chatted as usual. A lot. And after awhile we end up in the kitchen – and talked about the silk dyed egg tree that is still adorning our dining table, even though Easter is long gone – and she looks around and pauses and says: “This place has a real calm feel about it. It feels so peaceful and warm. This is what I want”… And this made me almost tear up. Seeing our home through her eyes was much better than through mine. Yes, I have been told this by some of you or online friends, but I always put this down to possible selective writing/seeing on my part.
Yes, I know we have it good. Yes, I am reasonably satisfied with where we are in life and I know we are a great family, but calm! Peaceful!? After spending the morning scrubbing the place and seeing every little blemish, dust speck, food mark on the furniture and every imaginable dirt in every imaginable corner, the comment really slapped me in my seat. In a good way. Pulled me out of the silly details and plopped me right where I need to be – seeing the best stuff.
Sitting there, digesting the words I remembered the other less clearly stated comments I have gotten in the past in regards to how we seem as a family from my midwife and friends.
In the end it seems to be largely a matter of choice. A matter of selecting what to see and what to ignore.
But its also a matter of who we choose to have around us. My friend could have just as easily said “Oh, my laundry is a complete mess as well” or a family member could comment on my housekeeping skills or something equally helpful. And I would be here, complaining about it, or lynching myself for not taking good care of my home.
Instead I will go to sleep in my “warm, calm, peaceful” home with a smile and comfort on my heart.
And promise to myself to see better and have people around me who do the same.